Stuff about Stuff: Oompa Loompas

I remember when I was seven years old, I had a fear of the film, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” No, it’s not because Gene Wilder is so ugly. Okay, maybe I only cried about that once when I was four, but mostly because of something else.

It was because of the weird, unusual, midget things called the oompa loompas. Those little oompa loompas are freaky. I can tell that they are telepathic because they all know what to sing with one another at the right time.

You should have seen the bonus features on the DVD. I swear that one picked up a pumpkin with his mind and threw it on the other one. The other one walked away laughing. Then a tree branch falls on him.

Could you imagine what would happen if those little orange telepaths suddenly ganged up on you?

They would probably sing, “Oompa loompa, doopa da dee why didn’t you listen to me? I’ve worked so hard at this chocolate factory, I told you not to stomp your feet, but you kept screaming like a little girl, now we have got ourselves a quarrel.”

Creepy, creepy, little things.